December 10, 2018

What To Do When It’s Hard To be The Bigger Person

Tweet: What to do when it's hard to be the bigger person  http://ctt.ec/xI6Zi+ @FlexHappy #shinebrightForgiveness is one of those ideals that I think many of us aspire to. We want to be the person who is “big enough” to let it go. To forgive. To move on. And with the little stuff that life throws at us, we can generally do that. Be the Bigger Person. Suck it up. Not make it a big deal. Get past it. Forgive. Move on.

But BIG things? The really big, black, bad things that someone has done to us? Well that’s a whole heap harder to get past. If someone has been an absolute sh*t to us then forgiving becomes very tough indeed. We can carry that weight of unforgiveness around in our hearts for a VERY long time. Why? Because if we forgive, it somehow makes their behaviour or choices okay. We might in some way be endorsing what occurred, and we sure as hell don’t want to do that! We don’t want the wrong to become a right. Wrong is wrong. So, we don’t forgive. We resist and resist. And we carry that weight of resistance around with us.

That weight in our hearts can get heavy and tiring. And it can block us from good stuff coming in. It can make us too scared to speak up or love again or make that bold choice. It becomes an anchor dragging behind us even though the sh*tty experience that created it is long gone.

And yet, we know somewhere, deep down, that if we could forgive and release the experience it would be better for us. Lighter. Freer.

But how do we forgive, or even consider it, when they are so wrong, wrong, wrong? How do we forgive when we are IN THE RIGHT, godammit?!

Here’s the thing.

There’s continuing to fight The Corner Of Rightness v’s forgiving and releasing the experience.

Look at continuing to fight the Corner Of Rightness. What benefit does it get us? Well, it keeps us feeling right. And on the moral high ground. It’s nice up there. It feels kinda good. However. It keeps us STUCK. It keeps us stuck in the sh*tty experience of The Thing that we can’t forgive. Which doesn’t serve us at all.

[Read the full article at www.louisethompson.com]