May 24, 2019

You Can Heal Your Heart

You can heal your heartOne of my favourite NZ Herald columns I have ever written was this one. My inbox was full to bursting in the week this appeared with people saying “I wish I had read that 15 years ago” – which I think shows just how long we can hold onto stuff when we feel we have been wronged. Some things are so very hard to forgive that they live on in us long after the incident itself has happened.

How long should we hold a grudge? How long can we hold a grudge?  A lifetime it seems! If you have a person in your life who has wronged you, and it may be a long long time ago – then just maybe these are the words you need to hear today to set yourself free from it. Because that’s the REALLY IMPORTANT thing about Forgiveness where people get confused – we think it’s something we GIVE the other person – we give them our forgiveness – that’s what feels so hard about it. It feels like we are letting them off a hook they should not be let off, and that they deserve to be on, so we can’t quite bring ourselves to do it. In fact, it’s much more helpful to think of Forgiveness as something we do for OURSELVES. Forgiveness is something that sets US free, not the other way round.

[Read the full article here at]